Before it all
by bloodredcherry
Summary: --COMPLETED-- Maybe everyone doesn't hate Rimmer as much as he thinks they do...a pre-RD story--full of Rimmer yumminess! muaah!
1. All alone with a vending machine

Before it All…

Disclaimer: Absolutely no one besides Natasha and her roommate belong to me, everything and anything else belongs to Doug Naylor and all other respective owners, this story is for entertainment purposes only.

Rating: PG-13 definitely for swearing.

AN: Not really sure where this story would fall in the series/time line, likely when Rimmer was still basically new in the Corps. And yeah, he's a bit out of character, but this is just fluff. Just because Rimmer needs a break, so here's his break. Oh and sorry if the slang's a little off.

Summary: Maybe everyone doesn't think Rimmer's a smeg head, like he thinks they do…

~*~

It had been one of those days. One of those horrible, horrible days but like always Natasha Crator had soldiered through it, took one for the team. But now...this...this was the last straw. The straw that made Natasha sit down and cry like a fifteen year old school girl.

She was curled up beside a vending machine trying to use the letter she'd just received as a tissue. 

She pulled the damp letter away from her and pulled it open, she glared at it and wished that it would spontaneously combust.

He told her not to take it personally! Not to take it personally! How was she supposed to take the fact that her boyfriend left her for another woman, not personally!

"The bugger," she muttered angrily, "the bloody two timing...twot!" Natasha shredded the letter," she grunted, shredding a corner, "smeggin arse!" she shouted ripping the rest of the letter to shreds.

"Uh, I beg your pardon?" A startled voiced asked.

Natasha started, she didn't realize anyone was around, she thought this hall was empty. She sniffled, "sorry, wasn't talking to you," she wiped her nose on her sleeve and managed to keep herself together for about two seconds before she burst into a fresh set of tears.

Arnold J. Rimmer couldn't help but to stare. Here he was standing in front of a woman who was nearly hysterical and he didn't have a clue what to do. If he asked her what was wrong, she might think he was a prat, and if he just walked away and left her sitting there she'd think he was a prat so he did the only logical thing that came to mind. He reached into his pocket and pulled out his handkerchief and handed it out to her.

She of course didn't notice and kept crying, so Rimmer cleared his throat and Natasha paused and looked up at him. Her cheeks were streaked with black mascara and her eyes were red and bloodshot but her hair was pretty and she sniffled and bit her lip. "Thanks," she said taking the handkerchief which was folded neatly. Natasha unfolded the handkerchief and pressed it against her face.

Rimmer cleared his throat again, "uh, right" he said a little awkwardly, Natasha wiped the handkerchief under her eyes and folded it neatly back into a square.

"Thanks," she said holding it out, just as Rimmer was just about to take it when Natasha started crying all over again.

"You should keep that," he said smiling thinly.

Natasha tried to smile but failed miserably, and Rimmer felt a sudden need to give her a hug, to comfort her somehow. He'd never seen a woman so hysterical before and it unnerved him, he figured he'd best do something so he reached down and dropped his hand onto her shoulder.

Natasha opened her eyes, he was touching her, patting her shoulder. She looked up into Rimmer's face, his blue eyes and his mop of curly hair. 

Natasha had seen Rimmer around, she'd heard all the stories, about how he failed his officers exam three times in a row, about how much of a prat he was. But all of a sudden Natasha needed human contact, and since Rimmer was the only one around he'd have to do. Natasha leaned forward, dropping her head into the crook of Rimmer's elbow.

Rimmer looked around in a panic, what now, what now!?

Hug her you smeg head! A voice in his head snapped, so Rimmer awkwardly shifted so Natasha was crying into the spot where his arm met his shoulder and he wrapped his left arm around her shoulders. He patted Natasha's back and she cried for a while longer before she stopped sniffling and hiccuped. 

Natasha was surprised to find that it was rather comforting, Rimmer awkwardly patting her back and her face pressed into his chest. He was warm and smelt like laundry detergent. Rimmer sat rather rigidly, Natasha shifted and moved her hand to his shoulder. Rimmer blinked, this was rather nice in an odd completely whacked out sort of way. If it had been under any other circumstance...

Natasha sniffled and pulled back, wiping her eyes, "sorry about that," she said softly.

Rimmer looked at her concerned, who was the 'smeggin arse' who did this to her? He must have been one real git. But Natasha looked a little better, maybe it was true what they said about women, they always felt better after a good cry. Rimmer figured Natasha had better than a good cry so she must have been feeling bloody fantastic.

"I-I'm Arnold," Rimmer blurted stupidly.

"I know," Natasha replied.

Rimmer was dumbfounded, she knew and yet she hadn't run in the other direction screaming? Or in the very least told him to get lost. She just needed someone to comfort her, it could have been anyone, the malicious voice in the back of Rimmer's head said.

Natasha touched her fingers to her burning cheeks and fixed her hair which had fallen out of its bun, she pulled it out of the elastic and it feel down her shoulders. Natasha was staring at the floor, worried she'd start crying again. She figured he was probably wondering what was wrong, so she figured she'd tell him. Natasha only hoped she wouldn't start crying again.

"He left..." she said, then realized Rimmer would have no idea who 'he' was, "Tom," she said, "my boyfriend," Natasha explained, "ran off with some tart named Gloria, he sent me a letter, can you believe it? Two years and the twot sends me a letter. Always taking the easy way out," Natasha snarled, "what's with you?" Natasha demanded and Rimmer looked terrified, "you men," he let out a sigh of relief, "always take the easy way out. Really...I like to give him what for if I ever see him again." Natasha paused, she was done. All she wanted to do was get back to her room have a shower and sleep. 

She looked at Rimmer, wondering what he must have thought of her, here she was sobbing to a man she didn't even know! He probably thought she was some barmy, whingy, woman who had nothing better to do with herself than to cry uncontrollably by a broken vending machine.

All of a suddenly Natasha felt the tears welling again and she bit the inside of her cheek.

"Do you want me to walk you back to your room?"

Natasha sniffled, she knew what her girlfriends would think if they saw her with him, she'd heard them talking about Rimmer, but at that moment Natasha didn't care. She nodded.

"Yeah thanks," she said softly. Rimmer looked a bit surprised, he'd only said it because it was the first thing that came to mind, and because he'd read somewhere that girls liked that sort of thing. He never actually expected her to accept—laugh uncontrollably and point maybe, but not accept. He stood there rather stupidly for a moment and Natasha furrowed her brow.

"Are you all right Arnold?" She wondered, "you look a bit ill." She touched his arm and he startled out his reverie.

"Fine," Rimmer said standing ramrod straight, "to your quarters then?"

~*~

"Here," Natasha said stopping suddenly, Rimmer kept walking and felt Natasha yank on the sleeve of his uniform, he nearly stumbled and mumbled something incoherently to himself. Natasha smiled softly and touched her hand to his hip, trying to steady him. Rimmer's face flushed pink and he turned halfway to face her. "Listen Arnold..." Natasha began, she didn't really know what to say, or how to say it.

Rimmer turned to say something to Natasha when the door whizzed open, he froze his mouth agape and looked at Natasha's roommate who was wearing a bathrobe and a look of utter shock on her face. She flicked her eyes to Natasha then back to Rimmer then back to Natasha again before she realized that her roommate had indeed been crying.

"Honey!" Her roommate exclaimed, "what did that arse do to you now?"

Rimmer looked back to Natasha, who was fighting back tears again.

"Awwww honey," her roommate cooed, she turned her eyes to Rimmer, they weren't exactly cold, but not exactly warm and fuzzy either. "Thank you," she said curtly, pulling Natasha into the room. The door whizzed shut and Rimmer finally managed to finish his question.

"--What's your name?"

TBC…

Read and Review, but no flames please!


	2. A second chance

Before it All…

Disclaimer: Absolutely no one besides Natasha and her roommate belong to me, everything and anything else belongs to Doug Naylor and all other respective owners, this story is for entertainment purposes only.

Rating: PG-13 for swearing.

AN: Not sure where this story is going, it's just a fluff peace.

Summary: Maybe everyone doesn't think Rimmer's a smeg head, like he thinks they do…

~*~

"You idiot! You smeggin' bloody idiot!" Rimmer muttered to himself, he'd just spent the better part of the morning on shift and now he was heading for the mess hall for lunch.

Rimmer's head had certainly not been in his work, all he could think about was last night and the fact that he never asked her name and the fact he might never get a chance to.

She was upset, Rimmer convinced himself, but that didn't help at all to make him feel better. He walked into the mess hall and got into the line, he looked at his food with disgust, if a person dared to call it food. He scanned the room for an empty table, no use making any else's day as horrible as his. 

He spotted one near the entrance and made his way over. He settled into the middle of the bench and poked at something he assumed was supposed to be tuna surprise. Funny, it didn't look or smell much like tuna.

After ten minutes of pushing his food around his plate he buttered his roll and shoved it in his mouth. He turned around to get up and someone walked right into him.

"Sorry," he muttered, "didn't see you there," he hurried to the garbage dispenser, laughter roaring in his ears.

Arnold Judas Rimmer, the crews favourite personal and private joke, Rimmer thought darkly, dumping his entire tray into the garbage bin. He didn't care that the kitchen lady was shouting at him he bolted from the mess hall.

Rimmer entered his quarters strode over to his bunk and flopped face first onto the mattress, he forgot of course that he left a book there. His nose bent painfully and he swore, sitting up.

If only he d' just asked her name...Rimmer dropped his face into his pillow and said every curse he knew existed--and some he wasn't quite so sure about. He knew he started his shift in nearly five minutes, but he couldn't have cared. 

The door opened and Rimmer's roommate walked in, "what are you doing mate?" His roommate asked, Rimmer looked up and over at his roommate, Charles Finney. He was tall and muscular and worked on the same shift as Rimmer but on another floor.

Charles made a face, "you look like crap," he said bluntly and Rimmer simply sighed and lay back face down in his pillow.

His roommate made a face, "what happened eh Rimmer? Some bird break your heart?" Charles began to laugh, until he saw the look on Rimmer's face, "oh...uh, right sorry mate." As much as he hated to admit it, he felt sorry for Rimmer, even though Rimmer was a real git sometimes. "Well you're better off without her."

"No Charles," Rimmer sighed, "I don't even know her name."

Charles' eyes widened and Rimmer suddenly had his interest, "you mean to tell me, that you, had a--"

Rimmer shook his head, "no, no," he said and Charles face fell, Charlie always liked a good bit of gossip. "I met her last night," Rimmer said, finally glad to have someone to talk to, "she was crying--"

Charles made a face, what was with girls and crying? Suddenly he grinned, "so you gave her one eh?"

Rimmer's face turned a deep shade of crimson, "_whaaaat_?" He screeched, "no I didn't give her one! And even if I had it certainly wouldn't be any of your business!"

Charles held up his hands, "all right, all right," Rimmer was getting excited and Charles was afraid his head might explode. 

It took Rimmer a moment to pull himself back together, he took a deep breath, then continued on--sure Charles was a bit of a smeg head, but he was basically harmless-- "So I walked her back to her quarters," Charles was about to say something and Rimmer shot him a look, Charles clamped his mouth shut and smiled a wide fake grin. "And I never even knew her name!" Rimmer let out a groan and flopped back onto his mattress.

Charles looked a little confused, Rimmer didn't notice he was still mumbling and muttering in his bunk. "So..." Charles said finally, "you didn't give her one?"

~*~

All righty, so the talk with Charles had been absolutely no help, and now he was back to work again, on the smegging Z shift, cleaning out the smegging chicken soup dispensers. Rimmer had hoped that Charles might have been able to offer some words of advice but no such luck. Rimmer was in exactly the same position as he was in before, except he was slightly more stressed, depressed and hungry. 

The hours passed but felt like years and finally the buzzer rang signaling the end of his shift. Rimmer abandoned his cart by the last vending machine, and furrowed his brow, trying to think of some way to get back in touch with--

He was still lost in thought when he walked into something solid.

"Oomph!" The solid object cried out and Rimmer made a face, he heard a few people snigger and someone walking past muttered, "nice going Rimmer!"

Rimmer's face turned a deep shade of red and he momentarily entertained the thought of bolting--

"Arnold?"

Rimmer shook his head, he must have been hearing things.

"Arnold?" the voice wondered again and Rimmer made another face.

Nice second impression! Knock a girl right off her feet, that's a way to get her to notice you--for the git that you are.

"H-hello," Rimmer stuttered, he saw that Natasha was pushing herself to her feet. "Sorry about that." He cleared his throat and reached out his hand, she took it and stood up. She was looking at him strangely and it took Rimmer a moment to realize she was embarrassed.

"Look Arnold, I'm really sorry about last night, I was a bit off my head," she said quickly, "I normally don't curl up beside vending machines and sob for hours."

Rimmer blinked, "no problem," he said softly, she smiled and they stood there for a few moments in an awkward silence before she finally spoke up.

"Listen I've got to go or I'll be late for my shift."

"Wait!" Rimmer shouted and more than a few heads turned, Natasha jumped and turned around.

"What is it?"

"Uh," Rimmer said walking quickly over to her, "what--i--forgot--listen, I was wondering--" Rimmer stopped and took a deep breath, "whatsyourname?" He blurted out finally. Natasha made a face.

"Sorry?" She wondered.

Rimmer forced himself to take another deep breath, his palms were getting sweaty and black dots were dancing in front of his eyes. He was going to faint! He gasped in a loud breath of air and Natasha was beginning to look a little frightened. 

You're asking her name, just OUT WITH IT! His mind shouted, "What's, your, name?" He finally managed to say.

"Natasha," she replied, she stuck out her hand, "Natasha Crator."

Rimmer slipped his hand into hers, she gripped his hand and shook it.

"Listen..." Natasha said, "I'd love to chat but I've really got to go," she pointed in the opposite direction. She let go of Rimmer's hand and smiled, she turned and called to her roommate down the hall, then she stopped turned and said, "see you around."

Part 2 is done! Hurrah! Anyways, fluff is good, good indeed and TBC...

please read and review! but no flames please.


	3. Do you even know him?

Before it All… 

Disclaimer: Absolutely no one besides Natasha and her roommate belong to me, everything and anything else belongs to Doug Naylor and all other respective owners, this story is for entertainment purposes only.

Rating: PG-13 for swearing.

AN: Not sure where this story is going, it's just a fluff peace and he sounds kind of crazy with that voice inside his head. Anyways, continuing on, continuing on...

Summary: Maybe everyone doesn't think Rimmer's a smeg head, like he thinks they do…

~*~

Another day done and Rimmer tried to stop himself from scanning the cafeteria for the fourth time in a minute.

She's not coming, a voice inside Rimmer's head--that he really wanted to smeg off--said sharply. Don't kid yourself. But Rimmer was kidding himself, he'd been kidding himself since Friday night at her door and now that he knew her name...unless it was a fake one.

It can't be a fake one, Rimmer reassured himself, and Natasha wouldn't do something like that.

How do you know? The voice challenged, you don't know her that well.

Well why would she waste the time speaking to me if she just wanted to give me a fake name? Rimmer countered and the voice was silence. Ha ha I wi--Rimmer shook his head, what was the matter with him!? Not only was he falling for some girl who probably didn't know he existed (not in the literal sense of course) now he was arguing with the annoying voice inside his head! What next? Bloody hallucinations?

"Can I sit here?" A voiced asked.

"Good God," Rimmer said his eyes wide and his face pale, he blinked and it took him a moment to realize that the woman standing in front of him wasn't a hallucination and he'd just made a fool of himself in front of Natasha again.

Natasha held her tray, waiting for Rimmer to respond, it took him a moment to remember how to formulate words, "yea, 'course, can." Rimmer managed to mumble. He grabbed his cup of juice and swigged it back, his face turning bright red.

Natasha grinned at sat down, "thanks," she said picking up her fork and knife. "So Rimmer," she began.

She's talking to you gimboid, react, look up. Rimmer looked up his mouth full of food and rose an eyebrow. He swallowed painfully, "yes?"

Natasha furrowed her brow, "are you going to eat that?" She asked pointed at his lump of soggy chocolate cake.

Not anymore, "no," he replied, he lifted his tray and scooped it onto her plate.

"Thanks," Natasha mumbled, digging into her ... what was the lunch today? Natasha couldn't tell just by looking at it.

"So," Rimmer said, "You going to take your officers exam anytime soon?"

Natasha poked at her food, "I think so, haven't really studied though."

"Well maybe..." Rimmer began, "maybe you would like to study."

Natasha smirked, "I plan to."

"No, I meant," he paused, "I meant maybe you'd like to study with me."

Natasha forked some chocolate cake into her mouth and blinked.

Rimmer's face fell; she's going to say no, why did you even ask you idiot.

Natasha gave Rimmer a sideways glance; he appeared to be sweating and looked nauseous. Is he... she pondered. Asking me out on a date? She chewed slowly and swallowed. No, he's just asking you to study. 

Despite what the others said--the others mainly being Natasha's roommate--Natasha thought Rimmer was cute, he wasn't exactly her type but look where her type had gotten her. Besides Natasha did need a study partner it wasn't exactly like her roommate was top par in the academic department. 

"Listen--" Rimmer began.

"Uh..." she said slowly, "okay I guess."

"--If you don't want to that's..." Rimmer blinked, "sorry?"

"I said okay," Natasha repeated, "I need a study partner."

"Oh," Rimmer said, he let out a big breath. The first time that lunch hour, the voice in the back of Rimmer's head didn't say a word.

~*~

"You what?"

Natasha looked over at her roommate Rebecca, from her bunk. "I told him we'd study."

"You do realize who you're talking about right?" Rebecca wondered.

"Of course I do."

"And you know that he's already failed his exam three times."

"So."

"So?" Rebecca demanded, "I could probably pass the officer's exam."

"Well maybe he was nervous Rebecca, it has been known to happen," Natasha closed the text book she was studying from, "we'll help each other."

"I'll tell you what he wants to help you with," Rebecca mumbled.

"Becca," Natasha sighed, entirely not in the mood.

"Well it's true, I've seen the way he looks at you."

Natasha blushed, "I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Sure," Rebecca replied, applying another coat of space blue to her fingernails.

"He's nice Becca!" Natasha said, and Rebecca snorted, "he is, have you ever even taken the time to talk to him?" Natasha rose an eyebrow. Rebecca pretended she didn't hear the question and continued painting her nails. "Do you realize that most of the men on this ship would have taken my crying as an invitation to try something?" Natasha highlighted another section of her textbook. 

"Well I still think it's a bloody stupid idea," Rebecca muttered, she looked pointedly at Natasha, "listen I can understand if you're going through a bit of a rebound but you think you could have picked someone a little better than Arnold Rimmer?"

Natasha shook her head, her alarm went off on the shelf beside her, she snapped her text book shut, "I've got to go," she stood up and grabbed her textbooks, she smoothed her hair down and looked at Rebecca over her shoulder, "Don't wait up for me." 

Yeah this chapter is really short, but I just wanted to get something. Not exactly sure where this story is going...it's kind of strayed but not too far and hopefully it will be done in a few more chapters. Thanks for the reviews and stay tuned!


	4. Revisions

****

AN Okay! *dances* Finally I was inspired again for this story, though I must admit, my muse had taken me on a very different path…look forward to new chapters soon (so no pointy sticks are necessary). 

Thank you so much to those who have reviewed—hope you haven't forgotten this little story— and sorry for such a long wait!

Oh! And sorry for any colourful spelling mistakes and grammatical errors!

"Bloody hell Arnold…" Natasha slammed her text book shut, "I'm done. I can't do anymore." She shoved her text book away and stood up.

Arnold closed his own text book, his eyes had been swimming for the last twenty minutes and he blinked. He looked over as she crossed the room to his bed.

She dropped down onto his mattress and pulled the elastic out of her hair. "It's absurd…we've been studying for _hours_ and it doesn't feel like we've made any progress at all." Natasha slowly rubbed her hands over her face.

Arnold was sitting, transfixed at the table. 

Natasha had sat next to him, pouring over her text book, scribbling page after page of notes. She'd lean over, checking Arnold's note book for references then asked questions and waited patiently for his answers.

When Arnold had dropped his pencil, he reached down for it but Natasha picked it up instead, placing it gently in his hand. Her fingers brushed his palm and suddenly Arnold had found it very difficult to breath.

When he finally managed to look over at her, she grinned and gave him a little nudge.

__

Now…Rimmer thought, _now she's lying in your bed_.

"Was it just nerves?" Natasha asked, bringing Rimmer back to Red Dwarf and his small quarters, "why you haven't passed your officer's exam?"

Rimmer blinked, "ah…" he began. He wasn't sure exactly where to start—but Natasha saw the pained look on his face and saved him the trouble.

"You have anything to drink?"

Charles had a few six packs of Lager in the mini fridge, surely he could spare a few.

Rimmer stood up and walked over to the small fridge grabbing two cold cans. Natasha was sitting up and Rimmer settled down beside her.

He handed her a Lager and stifled a yawn, she cracked open her can and took a long swig.

She grimaced, "oh, that's awful."

Rimmer took a small sip from his own can and wondered if car petrol wouldn't taste better.

Natasha looked over at the clock, she gasped. "Is it that late? I have a shift at eight thirty!" She was about to stand up but then turned to Arnold. "Thanks Arnold," she lay her hand on his knee, "honestly." it was an innocent gesture, but Arnold choked then nodded. 

"I've got to go," she grabbed her text book tucked her notes inside and shoved it under her arm. "Thanks again."

"No…problem…" Arnold squeaked his eye's watering, Natasha gave a small wave and left the room.

Only when the door closed did Arnold allow himself to cough.

After nearly hacking up a lung, he took a long deep breath.

He knew it was foolish but his knee still tingled with her touch.

"What are you getting yourself into Arnie old boy?" He muttered to himself, discarding his can and laying down on his bed where Natasha had been only moments before.

Yes, this chapter is again short, but don't worry. There will be more, though I'm not sure it will be as fluffy as the last few chapters. Anyway, let me know what you think, but no flames (there's enough nastiness in the world)


	5. Revelations

****

AN: Okay, I've been trying to decide how to end this happy or sad, and I've been watching the first and second seasons and I've decided it is going to be happy. It will likely turn to AU, but you know what? That's okay because Rimmer is so sad and pathetic and he needs some loving (of the PG-13 variety). So…let me know what you think but be kind! Oh and about that endnote on Ch. 4…fluffiness shall abound!

Thank you so much to those who have reviewed! And thanks to my friend J, for the whole _Timmy Trucker _business!

Oh! And sorry for any colourful spelling mistakes and grammatical errors!

The officer's exam was only three days away and for the past week Arnold and Natasha had been studying every night. The day before she had ambushed him after his shift, sneaking up on him while he was trying to dislodge a rather stubborn hunk of chicken from a nozzle that didn't seem intent on cooperating.

"Come on—" Arnold muttered as she crept up behind him. "You stupid bloody—"

"All right Arnold!" Natasha clamped a hand on his shoulder. He let out an odd sort of shriek and nearly ripped the nozzle out of the machine. "Sorry, didn't mean to scare you." She rose her eyebrows, "tense are we?" She gave his shoulder a squeeze as he tried to reattach the nozzle—at least he'd got out that bit of chicken. 

Now they were sitting in Arnold's quarters, across the table from each other. Natasha was tapping her pen against the table biting her lip in concentration. Arnold watched as ran her teeth over her bottom lip going over the astrometrics terms in her head, trying to set them into a mnemonic she could remember. So far all she had was _Trucker Tim Reads Witty Rambunctious Sarcasm Terribly Celebrating_

'What?' She thought, '_that doesn't make any sense.' _She scribbled the sentence out furiously, then glanced up at Rimmer—who promptly looked down and started scribbling furiously in his notebook. 

"Arnold?" Natasha set her pencil down.

"Yes?" He squeaked, his ears flaming.

"Why are you watching me?"

__

'Because you fancy her that's why. You want to snog her senseless,' declared the voice in the back of his head, '_come on and admit it, the only reason you've been holding these study sessions is because you want to get down her—'_

"Well…uh, I, you—you've got pen on your face." '_Stupid git_'.

Natasha rubbed her chin furiously, "gone?"

"Yeah," Rimmer muttered.

'_All you have to do is ask, the least she'll do is laugh in your face_." 

Arnold didn't know if he could handle that. He could pretend he didn't care about everyone else, but not her, not Natasha. 

"It's ten," Natasha declared, closing her book carefully. She looked at Arnold; he'd been acting off the last few days. "Arnold?" She stood slowly. "I haven't done something have I?"

"What?" He blinked, "no of course not, you've been great."

"Is Charles giving you a rough time again?"

"No more than usual."

"Well what is it?" She took his arm, "you've barely said two sentences to me these last two nights." 

So she _had_ noticed. 

"You can tell me I won't get cross."

"Natasha," he kept his eyes fixed on his bunk, "I…I was just—I was just wondering—" All of a sudden with his deepening blush it dawned on her; smacked her right in the face. '_He's trying to ask you for a date,'_ and apparently having some difficulty.

Natasha blinked. She expected the disgust to wash over her, a loud cruel cackle to escape her lips. She knew that's what Rebecca would have done—what Rebecca would want to Natasha to do. 

But Natasha didn't want to laugh at Arnold, didn't want to make him feel like a fool.

Sure he was different from Tom: tall and gangly, awkward—hadn't passed his officer's exam with flying colours but he was sweet, and funny, especially when he didn't mean to be.

Finally Arnold let out a disgruntled sigh; he hadn't managed to say anything besides nonsense. "Well," he said dejectedly, still staring at the floor "see you tomorrow?"

Natasha nodded, "yeah." She shoved her books into her shoulder bag and left Arnold's room.

Yay! *dances* Isn't it grand fun? It's a bit of an AU, but this is before the series started. 

Anyway, let me know what you think—is everyone IC, OC? Everything tickety-boo?—

But no flames please!


	6. Finally the end

****

AN: Okay this is going to turn completely to AU (thanks to Guin for that idea! :-D) And thank you so much to everyone who reviewed, I really appreciate all your kind words and much hassling to update because that's what I need!

Oh and I'm just going to assume that if one passes the astro-navigational exam you'd be a Lieutenant. Okay? Okay. And if that's wrong...I am terribly sorry. 

Anyhow, Happy holiday's everyone, whatever holiday you may celebrate!

The day of the examination loomed upon them and Arnold couldn't help but to associate that fact with his own impending humiliation. He could just imagine the look on his Father's face and he couldn't stand it. I can't disappoint him again; I'll pass this test.

He had been so preoccupied about the whole exam that he'd been nearly useless on his shift. He walked back to his quarters in a daze. He looked down at his watch; the exam was in exactly four hours thirty nine minutes and fourteen seconds. He'd never make it, he was going to faint, slip into a coma, jettison himself out into space.

After nearly thirty minutes of staring at the ceiling on his bunk he decided to go to the mess to get some food. Yes. Food. Good, he thought absently. 

He hadn't seen Natasha since the night before. Arnold just hoped he hadn't made a mess of everything. He didn't mean to like her, he'd tried not to, he'd even made a list of cons which only consisted of the fact that Natasha had an liking for romantic films. 

Arnold was so out of it he didn't have a chance to ponder the disgusting slop on his plate. He only ate what he assumed was grilled cat and curdled goats milk.

He and Natasha were going to meet an hour before the exam for another quick revision. 

He set up his notes on the table, separating each section into neat little piles. He looked at the mass of papers and felt the urge to be violently sick.

"Hey Arn?" Charles asked, "you all right?"

Arnold twitched in a way that Charles assumed was a _yes_.

"Well...uh...good luck then." He stared at Arnold, then simply left, shaking his head.

Arnold looked down at his watch. 

An hour twenty minutes and forty-eight seconds.

He was doomed.

"Arnold."

Arnold was vaguely aware that someone was speaking to him.

"Arnold," Natasha repeated, "you have to look at me," she scooted her chair around the table and seized his shoulders. "You need to breathe," Arnold simply blinked in reply. Natasha shook him rather violently, trying to snap him out of his stupor. "It's only a test Arnold, your very existence doesn't ride on whether you pass or fail."

"Yes it does." Arnold finally replied.

"What?" Natasha replied.

"You don't understand, if I fail this test..."

Natasha sighed, "look, the only reason why you are so sure you're going to fail this test is because you've convinced yourself you are." 

Arnold blinked again.

Natasha touched his arm before getting to her feet she checked her watch. "We should get to the examination room," She reached down and took Arnold's hand, he stared at her and Natasha gave him a little tug. "Come on." 

He would be fine, he just needed to fail the test and get it over with.

Arnold let Natasha pull him to his feet and he noticed she didn't let go of his hand.

"Remember what I told you."

He let out a long breath and the black dots that had been dancing in front of his eyes finally receded.

Well...that wasn't nearly as traumatic as Arnold thought it was going to be.

Don't bother getting your hopes up, the nasty little voice quipped inside his head. 

Arnold took a deep breath. 

He leaned against the wall in the hallway down from the examination room. He told Natasha to get his results; he couldn't bear to look at them himself.

"Arnold!" Natasha screamed waving a piece of paper excitedly.

__

Oh bloody hell. Now everyone was looking at him, then back to her. Did she have to advertise the fact that she passed and he failed? Arnold thought Natasha was above that. 

"Arnold!" She shrieked, running over to him. 

"So you've passed then?" He snapped.

Natasha blinked, the look of joy dropped off her face. "Yeah," she replied. "What's the matter?" 

"Right. Well congratulations then." He turned, ignoring the question. 

That was it, this was bloody it. He was leaving Red Dwarf and moving to Guam where no one knew him.

"Arnold," Natasha grabbed his arm, ignoring the looks of the people around them. She'd meant to sound pissed, insulted, and indignant but rather she just sounded as if she were about to cry. She crumpled the test results in her hand. "You stupid git."

Arnold froze in his tracks. Natasha tightened her grip on his arm and dragged him down the hall to a corridor that was deserted. In fact, Arnold recognized the vending machine--this was where they first met.

Well, Arnold thought darkly, at least she has the decency to insult me in private.

"Yes I passed Arnold," Natasha waved his results in his face, "but you did too."

Time seemed to slow to a screeching halt.

"P-pardon?" Arnold coughed, his heart lodged in his esophagus.

She snapped the paper open in front of his face. 

...congratulations...passed your astro- navigational exam...Lieutenant Arnold Judas Rimmer...

The words swam before his eyes. He took the paper with shaking fingers; sure it would spontaneously combust in his hand.

"Natasha..." he said softly, he looked up at her and couldn't believe what a total and utter smeg of a smegging smeghead he'd been. "I...I'm sorry."

Natasha simply stared at him.

Arnold wracked his brain for anything, anything he could say to make it better. But before he had a chance to say anything at all--Natasha grabbed him by the lapels of his uniform and pulled him towards her, crushing her lips against his.

Arnold was thrown off balance, and wrapped his arm around her waist to steady himself. It took a few moments for him to realize what was happening.

Arnold pinched his left arm and revealed in the pain that shot down his forearm. He wasn't dreaming. Natasha was kissing him--or she had been. 

Natasha was now standing back staring at him. Her cheeks were flushed and she laughed softly. "What did I tell you about breathing?" She whispered.

"To hell with breathing," Arnold declared, he slung his other arm around her waist and kissed her fully on the mouth.

The seconds seemed passed into minutes and then hours, perhaps even decades--Arnold didn't know, or care. 

All he did know was that for the first time in Arnold Judas Rimmer's life, things were perfect.

And that was just the way he liked it.

It's done! *dances* I hope you liked it!

~ bloodredcherry


End file.
